Comebacks to "Come Visit Me"
Choose from 50 clever ways to respond when someone says "Come Visit Me" in relationships situations. These witty comebacks and sharp replies will help you answer confidently with the perfect response.
"I'd rather watch paint dry"
"Do I look like a tourist attraction?"
"My Wi-Fi is more inviting"
"Visiting hours are currently closed"
"Maps don't lead to my location"
"Proximity doesn't guarantee good company"
"My personal space has strict entry requirements"
"Visitation rights: permanently revoked"
"Interesting proposal, but my calendar disagrees"
"Location services: permanently disabled"
"Oh sure, because I'm just sitting here waiting"
"Wow, what an incredible offer I can't refuse"
"Let me clear my absolutely packed schedule of nothing"
"Tempting, but have you considered not?"
"Your hospitality is overwhelming"
"I'm practicing social distancing... permanently"
"My couch filed a restraining order"
"Sorry, my introvert shield is activated"
"Visiting me requires a sense of humor passport"
"My welcome mat says 'No Soliciting'"
"Not if you were the last person on Earth"
"I'd rather swallow thumbtacks"
"Your invitation is a hard pass"
"My restraining order is in the mail"
"Absolutely not, next question"
"Social interactions require mutual intellectual stimulation"
"The concept of visitation requires careful epistemological consideration"
"Proximity does not guarantee meaningful engagement"
"Our potential interaction lacks substantive purpose"
"Interpersonal dynamics suggest alternative communication modes"
"Maybe another time when we're both feeling great"
"I appreciate the thought, but not right now"
"Let's plan something that works for both of us"
"Your invitation is kind, but I need some space"
"Thank you for thinking of me"
"No, thank you"
"Not interested"
"This won't work for me"
"I decline"
"That's a no"
"My pet unicorn says no"
"Only if you bring time-traveling tacos"
"Sorry, I'm busy translating dolphin conversations"
"My astrologer warned me about this exact moment"
"Requires minimum 3 rubber chickens as entry fee"
"Make it worth my while"
"Depends, are you bringing dessert?"
"Convince me in 3 sentences or less"
"Only if there's wine involved"
"Might negotiate for a romantic dinner first"
The Art of Comebacks: Style Guide
Choose the perfect comeback style for any situation
Witty Comebacks
Clever wordplay and intelligent humor that shows your quick thinking without being overly harsh.
Sarcastic Responses
Ironic remarks that highlight absurdity with dry humor. Best used with people who understand your sense of humor.
Savage Clapbacks
No-holds-barred responses for when someone has crossed a line. These put people in their place quickly and effectively.
Funny Replies
Lighthearted responses that transform awkward moments into opportunities for laughter and connection.
Clever Responses
Smart responses that demonstrate wit and intelligence, making the other person think twice about what they said.
Intellectual Comebacks
Thoughtful responses that demonstrate knowledge and depth, perfect for shutting down uninformed comments.
Wholesome Replies
Kind but effective replies that defuse tension while still maintaining boundaries in a positive way.
Direct Responses
Straightforward responses that get right to the point without metaphors or wordplay.
Absurd Comebacks
Unexpected and bizarre replies that confuse the other person and completely change the dynamic of the conversation.
Flirty Responses
Playful responses with romantic or suggestive undertones that turn any conversation into an opportunity for connection.