Relationships Comebacks

"Great, sign here on the dotted line."

"I'd rather watch paint dry"

"A Nobel Peace Prize and world domination, obviously."

"Trust me, the grass isn't greener on my side."

"Want to hear about my taxes instead?"

"I'm upgrading my heart's firmware."

"Calendar status: It's complicated"

"And statistically improbable, might I add."

"Math says that's statistically impossible"

"Well, isn't that a fascinating personal journey?"

"Gravity's got nothing on me."

"Sounds like a business proposal you'll never close."

"More like 'Happy Spouse, House Truce'"

"I prefer 'Documentary and Dialogue'"

"Watch me evolve in real-time."

"Challenge accepted, I'm about to get very average."

"Age is just a number, and I'm fluent in math."

"Hearts are not Lego sets; they don't break that easily."

"Oh, fancy personalized attention!"

"Sounds like someone needs a sample size expansion."

"Buckle up for a backstage pass to my complexity."

"I have better things to do than flatter myself."

"Quantum physics and my latest meal, apparently."

"Teleporting through time and space, just for you."

"I'm taking it multiple ways, actually."

"Careful, that's my secret weapon."

"Safest place in the world, right here"

"Pity's a fascinating emotion... for you."

"Careful, hero worship can be dangerous"

"I'm the crystal ball of cold, hard facts"

"My brain's in the shop for maintenance."

"Depends, are we playing a guessing game?"

"Define 'anything'."

"Cool, I'll be over here not needing anything."

"Mistakes are life's plot twists, and I'm the director now."