Work Comebacks

"Oh, I'm basically the superhero of help around here."

"I'm not drowning in work, I'm swimming in opportunity."

"Virtually charmed, I'm sure."

"Turns out, adulting is a full-time job with terrible benefits."

"Technically, it's always Friday somewhere."

"I wear orthopedic inspiration."

"Training to become a professional coffee drinker"

"Another day, another dollar... more like another day, another existential crisis."

"Challenge accepted, complexity curator"

"Sounds like your resume is more fiction than fact."

"Crystal clear... or is it?"

"Time to trade spreadsheets for sweatpants"

"Only if the pulp of potential is freshly squeezed."

"Hope you accept monopoly money"

"Bills? I prefer to call them 'financial suggestions'."

"Forte? More like 'for-tay' of excellence."

"Clarification: my superpower since kindergarten"

"Easy to work with? More like easy to forget."

"Breaking news: Interruption in progress"

"Time is a construct, but 2 PM works for me."

"Extensive experience? More like extensively exaggerated."

"About as much sense as a chocolate teapot."

"I'm between epic opportunities"

"Congratulations on your participation trophy!"

"Oh, I plan to rest it into oblivion."

"Confusion is my middle name. Right after 'Professional'."