Texting Comebacks

"Weekend? More like weak-end."

"Survived another plot twist in the sitcom of life."

"Time travel's not in my skill set, sorry."

"Glad to see your culinary critique is so refined."

"Ah yes, the pinnacle of social invitation"

"To be honest? More like to be hilarious."

"Well, that's a mood and a half."

"Oh, the pinnacle of conversational eloquence."

"Oh My Lexicon? Is that a new dictionary app?"

"Oh, Now Gotcha!"

"Well, that's a conversation starter..."

"Doubt is the duct tape of your paranoia."

"Carrier pigeon at your service"

"Read receipts: the silent treatment's digital cousin"

"Waiting To Be Impressed? Challenge accepted."

"Challenge accepted, fact-checker."