Comebacks to "‘The Things I’d Do to You’"
Choose from 50 clever ways to respond when someone says "‘The Things I’d Do to You’" in relationships situations. These witty comebacks and sharp replies will help you answer confidently with the perfect response.
"Sounds like a business proposal you'll never close."
"Is that a threat or your dating profile summary?"
"Bold strategy. Let's see how that plays out."
"Careful, your imagination is showing."
"Wow, someone's feeling ambitious today."
"Interesting hypothetical with zero probability."
"Your confidence is inversely proportional to your chances."
"Theoretical scenarios are adorable."
"Statistical probability: approaching zero."
"Fascinating thought experiment you've constructed."
"Dream on, Einstein."
"In your wildest fantasies, maybe."
"Keep telling yourself that."
"Bless your delusional heart."
"Sure, and unicorns do my taxes."
"Is this a Netflix rom-com audition?"
"Did you rehearse that line in the mirror?"
"My restraining order says otherwise."
"Plot twist: you're not the main character."
"Cute. Really cute."
"Not if I do them to you first."
"You couldn't handle half of what I'd do."
"In your dreams - and only there."
"Bold talk for someone within blocking distance."
"Try me. I dare you."
"A provocative statement requiring nuanced deconstruction."
"The epistemological implications are fascinating."
"Let's examine the underlying psychological motivations."
"Consent and agency are paramount considerations."
"Unpacking this rhetoric reveals complex relational dynamics."
"I prefer mutual respect and kindness."
"Let's focus on positive interactions."
"Friendship is the best path forward."
"Compassion creates better connections."
"Kindness speaks louder than intentions."
"No, thank you."
"Not interested."
"That's inappropriate."
"Stop right there."
"Absolutely not."
"Banana peels and quantum physics disagree."
"My unicorn lawyer will contact you."
"Interpretive dance, perhaps?"
"Llamas have been notified."
"Does this involve cheese?"
"Promises, promises..."
"Intriguing proposal. Continue..."
"Are you asking or offering?"
"Careful, you're turning up the heat."
"Smooth. Very smooth."
The Art of Comebacks: Style Guide
Choose the perfect comeback style for any situation
Witty Comebacks
Clever wordplay and intelligent humor that shows your quick thinking without being overly harsh.
Sarcastic Responses
Ironic remarks that highlight absurdity with dry humor. Best used with people who understand your sense of humor.
Savage Clapbacks
No-holds-barred responses for when someone has crossed a line. These put people in their place quickly and effectively.
Funny Replies
Lighthearted responses that transform awkward moments into opportunities for laughter and connection.
Clever Responses
Smart responses that demonstrate wit and intelligence, making the other person think twice about what they said.
Intellectual Comebacks
Thoughtful responses that demonstrate knowledge and depth, perfect for shutting down uninformed comments.
Wholesome Replies
Kind but effective replies that defuse tension while still maintaining boundaries in a positive way.
Direct Responses
Straightforward responses that get right to the point without metaphors or wordplay.
Absurd Comebacks
Unexpected and bizarre replies that confuse the other person and completely change the dynamic of the conversation.
Flirty Responses
Playful responses with romantic or suggestive undertones that turn any conversation into an opportunity for connection.